"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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