11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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