That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Randomize
