we have pet lesbian snakes
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
