how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
