My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Are we still banned from the library?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
