she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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