Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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