hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
