i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
