I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just high enough for therapy.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
