i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
