my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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