I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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