I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
