my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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