Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
