Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
