I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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