I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
