So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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