we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
