dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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