Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize