if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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