Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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