You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
there is puke in my bra ... again
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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