i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
