It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
