the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
