your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
