Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
