3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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