We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
