He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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