I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
