Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
