Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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