hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
