things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
