I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
