What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
