the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize