I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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