Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
