there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
