We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
