erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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