so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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