so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
