omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
