take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
