He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
