Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
