ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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