Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Couch. On fire.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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