new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
