he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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